agirllost | (no subject)

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'I am the bud, I am the flower, be the flower, feel the sun on your petals, feel yourself opening up to the Source...' she thinks as she sits crosslegged on her bed. At the moment though, she feels more like a weed than a rose.

Other things keep interrupting her practice - thoughts about her family she can't push out of her mind, worries about the future, and most of all this sensation that she's standing at the edge of a cliff and about to jump off. But she feels, for the first time in weeks, that something will catch her if she takes that first step.

Selae was a patient teacher and she answered Kim's questions without making her feel like an idiot for asking them. Some of what her teacher said was too familiar for comfort, but she listened intently, and tried to follow along.

'I am the bud. I open up to the world, I surrender to the Source...' she thinks again, trying to clear her mind.

'I've frightened them all, I've hurt them, and I don't know how I'm going to make things right again'

She almost had Saidar and it slips away, pushing her back to the beginning of trying to clear her mind.

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Mesaana thinks for a moment before replying.

"This is often the way of things, fortunately, I cannot be trapped here."

"You can't?"

The look on Mesaana's face explained what a ridiculous idea this was. Noticing that she was standing in the hall, she gestured ahead of herself.

"Of course not. Neither will you, after a time."

A pause.

"May I come in?"

She nods and moves aside.

Mesaana walks into Kim's room as regal as ever. Icy blue eyes surveying the place carefully.

"I suppose that you have a lot of questions."

"I'm...having trouble concentrating."

Mesaana nodded calmly, her lips pursed slightly.

"That is all too common. It is something that only practice will overcome."

A pause.

"You do have the spark strongly in you, and if you can grasp the Source, you could possibly do something small if you willed it."

'I can overcome it,' she thinks, a part of her wanting to impress her teacher.

"Something small?"

Mesaana nods, and gestures slightly with her left hand.

"Like lighting a candle, though... That requires some precision, so you may want to keep a fire extinguisher nearby until you learn how to quench flames with the Power."

She nods slightly...still unable to believe that she has this ability, that she could do things like create fire.

"Can you show me again?"

Taking a deep breath, Mesaana opened herself up to the Source, only allowing a tiny flow to trickle into her. A tiny flow of fire forms a small flame in the palm of her hand.

"Like this, Child."

Kim sees the fire and something else, she blinks, but the other image remains.

"You just will it to happen and it...happens?"

Shaking her head slightly, Mesaana raised an index finger.

"No, you use flows of the Power to weave together the desired effect. Different results depend on the way it is woven. The composition depends on the amounts of the Power, the type, and their position, but in extremely simple homogenous cases, simply willing it is enough."

Drawing more Saidar, Mesaana held out her hands.

"For instance, this is the way to weave a shield for your dreams."

Different threads, mostly Spirit formed. The weaves slowly coalesced into a cohesive whole.

Kim stares at the weaves, not quite able to believe that she's seeing them, but they don't disappear when she looks away.

'It's like Nita's magic but...not. If I had a way to keep people out of my dreams -- I could sleep, I wouldn't have to fear...'

She looks into the calm eyes of her teacher. Lady Selae thought of this as Kim might think of writing a sentence.

"How long did it take you to learn how to do that?"

A light, windchime laugh from Mesaana as she let the weaves dissolve, a faint residue hanging in the air from their passing. The glow of Saidar around the woman winks out as she releases the Source.

"I believe the information you are actually wanting is how long will it take you to learn this particular weave. A few weeks if you practice very hard, maybe not that long. It is a very simple weave, though from a rather obscure area of study."

'With all the dream infiltration going on, I'm surprised it's not one of the most common things to learn'

"Why is it so obscure?"

Mesaana shrugged for a moment, before placing a delicate hand on her chin, an index finger lying across her lips.

"Well, work in dreams is not an area that one can seek as much advancement with one's powers, that is the practical side. Though, also because Talents in that area are not always related to strength or even ability in the Power. There are some people, otherwise weak in the power, whose strength working in dreams is formidable."

Moghedien, for one.

"What would...be an advantage to working in dreams?"

She looks away from her teacher, something about Selae makes her feel...lesser.

Mesaana thought for a moment, icy blue eyes studying Kim carefully. This girl had interests in that area.

"Well, if you were using Compulsion for psychiatric purposes, it is done occasionally by licensed professionals, performing the procedure in dreams makes the Compulsion far more powerful."

Compulsion. Her skin crawls at the thought, remembering how she felt when she couldn't stop telling the truth and didn't know her own feelings or desires.

"Compulsion...doesn't seem like something anyone should learn."

Mesaana shrugged calmly. So this girl has run afoul of Compulsion. Dreams and Compulsion. Looks like Ishamael's work. A touch of a smile flickered on her face.

"Compulsion has many limitations, and can be used for immense good."

A pause.

"Generally, only someone almost unnaturally skilled could cause harm with it. The signs of its use are easily evident for those aware of it."

"Good? What good can come out of manipulating someone's mind?" She asks almost conversationally.

She's remembering when Jasin offered his services and how tempted she was to let him "fix" things.

Mesaana thought for a moment, folding her arms under her breasts.

"Our society has to deal with violent elements just like any other. Those with significant psychiatric problems can be repaired, though sometimes counseling is more effective."

A pause.

"Those with a history of doing violent crimes are bound against ever harming another individual. Though, this is usually done with ter'angreal

"I still don't think it's right to...change people that way," she looks up. "A what?"

A calm gesture as she paced slowly, a lecturing tone in her voice.

"A ter'angreal. It is one of three types of devices that utilize the One Power. A ter'angreal is the term for any device that is meant to do one specific thing, they are as wide and varied as the One Power itself."

A pause as her tone continued to wax pedantic.

"Now, an angreal is a very specific device. It is an amplifier. By drawing the One Power through an angreal, you could draw far more of the One Power than you could otherwise do so safely."

A small quirked smile.

"Rarer still is the sa'angreal. It is like an angreal with a far greater capacity. Using it not only could you use an amount of Saidar that would normally burn you to a cinder, but that would burn any Channeler to a cinder as well. You could match the greatest of Channelers with a Sa'angreal."