agirllost: (intense//_chokeanddie)
'I am the bud, I am the flower, be the flower, feel the sun on your petals, feel yourself opening up to the Source...' she thinks as she sits crosslegged on her bed. At the moment though, she feels more like a weed than a rose.

Other things keep interrupting her practice - thoughts about her family she can't push out of her mind, worries about the future, and most of all this sensation that she's standing at the edge of a cliff and about to jump off. But she feels, for the first time in weeks, that something will catch her if she takes that first step.

Selae was a patient teacher and she answered Kim's questions without making her feel like an idiot for asking them. Some of what her teacher said was too familiar for comfort, but she listened intently, and tried to follow along.

'I am the bud. I open up to the world, I surrender to the Source...' she thinks again, trying to clear her mind.

'I've frightened them all, I've hurt them, and I don't know how I'm going to make things right again'

She almost had Saidar and it slips away, pushing her back to the beginning of trying to clear her mind.
agirllost: (cold//mihasx)
[ooc: Millitimed to during Q's talk with Chase]

Q: "I can't allow that." He snaps his fingers, and someone else has them now.

Kim is packing. She's not sure what she's going to do, but everything is telling her she can't stay here and now that she can't even trust Chase, she has to get away.

Her ribs protest another deep breath and the dark bands on her arms and legs are taking forever to fade. Maybe going to Chris was a mistake, but, she couldn't think of anyone else - and Chris has always been there for her. The bonds of trust formed when Chris stayed with her, making sure that she was okay, keeping harmful elements away...she relied on those, and everything came out in a rush, all about the danger, the nightmare, and...the bruises. She made Chris promise not to say a word to her dad. She knows it's not fair to Chris, but, he can't know, and if he knew...she doesn't want to think about the consequences.

She's folding a sweater when everything changes.

As she looks at the item in her hands, each thread of the material becomes visible. The thin whisps of cashmere thicken before her eyes. She can smell baby powder and roses. The sweater drops out of her hands and she takes a step back, her breathing suddenly loud. She senses something flickering at the edge of her vision and she turns but it's still there, hovering, waiting.

'What's happening to me?' Her skin's warm, she feels flushed, her breathing labored and she takes another step back. Her hands touch the wall - but she can feel each bump and the color's shifting...no, she can see the prism. She shuts her eyes tightly and shakes her head, sure that she can't be feeling this, can't be seeing these things.

It feels like there's someone else next to her, just beyond what she can feel, and she's somehow...connected.

'I must be getting sick,' she thinks, and believes that until she opens her eyes and sees a puff of smoke lazily drifting in front of her.

'This isn't happening'

Sweat drips down her face and she moans softly. "Please. Whatever you are. Please. Stop."

A burst of flame appears in front of her and she screams.

The warmth vanishes, leaving her shivering and the colors return to normal.

She slips to the ground, staring at her hands, turning them over, rubbing them together.

The presence remains, now just beyond her reach.

"What's happening to me?"

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agirllost

August 2007

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