agirllost: (intense//_chokeanddie)
[personal profile] agirllost
'I am the bud, I am the flower, be the flower, feel the sun on your petals, feel yourself opening up to the Source...' she thinks as she sits crosslegged on her bed. At the moment though, she feels more like a weed than a rose.

Other things keep interrupting her practice - thoughts about her family she can't push out of her mind, worries about the future, and most of all this sensation that she's standing at the edge of a cliff and about to jump off. But she feels, for the first time in weeks, that something will catch her if she takes that first step.

Selae was a patient teacher and she answered Kim's questions without making her feel like an idiot for asking them. Some of what her teacher said was too familiar for comfort, but she listened intently, and tried to follow along.

'I am the bud. I open up to the world, I surrender to the Source...' she thinks again, trying to clear her mind.

'I've frightened them all, I've hurt them, and I don't know how I'm going to make things right again'

She almost had Saidar and it slips away, pushing her back to the beginning of trying to clear her mind.

Date: 2006-01-10 03:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angela-edmunds.livejournal.com
After talking with her grampa and eating something, Angela decides that she and her Mom have to talk, and Angela has an apology to make.

She loves her mother and doesn't want her to be hurting.

She hesitates only a little before she knocks. "Mom?"

Date: 2006-01-10 03:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angela-edmunds.livejournal.com
Angie leans forward without hesitation and hugs her mother tightly.

"I'm sorry."

Date: 2006-01-10 03:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angela-edmunds.livejournal.com
"No, I never act like that, just pushing and pushing..."

She generally lets people walk all over her. "I didn't mean to be so angry." She sniffles.

Date: 2006-01-10 03:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angela-edmunds.livejournal.com
Angela half-laughs, half-sobs into Kim's shoulder. "I'd like to think I got some things from you and Grampa."

Date: 2006-01-10 03:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angela-edmunds.livejournal.com
It feels good having her hair stroked. Nobody's done that in a long time.

"Like what?" she asks softly.

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Date: 2006-01-10 04:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] teach-them-all.livejournal.com
A knock at the door. The kind of firm, insistent knock a professional makes.

Date: 2006-01-10 04:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] teach-them-all.livejournal.com
Hands folded in front of her, elegant black gown, composed look, Mesaana is more composed than the previous day. Her crystalline voice calm, and professional.

"Greetings, Lady Kim."

Date: 2006-01-10 04:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] teach-them-all.livejournal.com
Mesaana tilted her head slightly as she surveys Kim with her icy blue eyes.

"Time flows differently and so I thought I best come and pay you a visit."

A pause.

"It would not do for me to neglect my student."

Date: 2006-01-10 04:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] teach-them-all.livejournal.com
Mesaana nodded calmly.

"While I can enter and leave the Bar at will regardless of the Door, the timeflow is always a matter of concern."

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Date: 2006-01-10 11:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_righthandman_/
That's about how Chase has been feeling for days, the constant loop of I've hurt her, I've scared her, she'll never speak to me again.

But he has to talk to her and he isn't backing down now.

He knocks on the door.

Date: 2006-01-15 03:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_righthandman_/
He knows he isn't welcome. But though he can no longer sense a Channeler by being one himself, just looking at her, he knows everything he's worried about is true.

"Kim--I'm so sorry--"

Date: 2006-01-15 03:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_righthandman_/
He exhales slowly. Where the hell does he start?

"After I hurt you, when I lost control of the powers," he says, keeping his voice low, "I...I didn't know how to stop them from slipping and doing something like that again. And this guy named Q--omnipotent, and omniscient, he knew everything that was going on already--showed up and offered his services, and I asked him if he could get rid of my powers for me. And he did, but he said he'd have to transfer them to someone else. I tried to take them back again, but he told me it was too late, and...gave them to you. I didn't know until recently..."

Date: 2006-01-15 03:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_righthandman_/
"A gift?"

You aren't pissed-off? I've given you these powers that I used to hurt you...

...but if you use them to hurt people...if you want...


"I should have told you sooner." He swallows. "But...you're learning how to use them right? Not like I did?"

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agirllost

August 2007

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