(no subject)

[agirllost]

'I am the bud, I am the flower, be the flower, feel the sun on your petals, feel yourself opening up to the Source...' she thinks as she sits crosslegged on her bed. At the moment though, she feels more like a weed than a rose.

Other things keep interrupting her practice - thoughts about her family she can't push out of her mind, worries about the future, and most of all this sensation that she's standing at the edge of a cliff and about to jump off. But she feels, for the first time in weeks, that something will catch her if she takes that first step.

Selae was a patient teacher and she answered Kim's questions without making her feel like an idiot for asking them. Some of what her teacher said was too familiar for comfort, but she listened intently, and tried to follow along.

'I am the bud. I open up to the world, I surrender to the Source...' she thinks again, trying to clear her mind.

'I've frightened them all, I've hurt them, and I don't know how I'm going to make things right again'

She almost had Saidar and it slips away, pushing her back to the beginning of trying to clear her mind.

Comments

[teach-them-all.livejournal.com]

A light, windchime laugh from Mesaana as she let the weaves dissolve, a faint residue hanging in the air from their passing. The glow of Saidar around the woman winks out as she releases the Source.

"I believe the information you are actually wanting is how long will it take you to learn this particular weave. A few weeks if you practice very hard, maybe not that long. It is a very simple weave, though from a rather obscure area of study."

[agirllost]

'With all the dream infiltration going on, I'm surprised it's not one of the most common things to learn'

"Why is it so obscure?"

[teach-them-all.livejournal.com]

Mesaana shrugged for a moment, before placing a delicate hand on her chin, an index finger lying across her lips.

"Well, work in dreams is not an area that one can seek as much advancement with one's powers, that is the practical side. Though, also because Talents in that area are not always related to strength or even ability in the Power. There are some people, otherwise weak in the power, whose strength working in dreams is formidable."

Moghedien, for one.

[agirllost]

"What would...be an advantage to working in dreams?"

She looks away from her teacher, something about Selae makes her feel...lesser.

[teach-them-all.livejournal.com]

Mesaana thought for a moment, icy blue eyes studying Kim carefully. This girl had interests in that area.

"Well, if you were using Compulsion for psychiatric purposes, it is done occasionally by licensed professionals, performing the procedure in dreams makes the Compulsion far more powerful."

[agirllost]

Compulsion. Her skin crawls at the thought, remembering how she felt when she couldn't stop telling the truth and didn't know her own feelings or desires.

"Compulsion...doesn't seem like something anyone should learn."

[teach-them-all.livejournal.com]

Mesaana shrugged calmly. So this girl has run afoul of Compulsion. Dreams and Compulsion. Looks like Ishamael's work. A touch of a smile flickered on her face.

"Compulsion has many limitations, and can be used for immense good."

A pause.

"Generally, only someone almost unnaturally skilled could cause harm with it. The signs of its use are easily evident for those aware of it."

[agirllost]

"Good? What good can come out of manipulating someone's mind?" She asks almost conversationally.

She's remembering when Jasin offered his services and how tempted she was to let him "fix" things.

[teach-them-all.livejournal.com]

Mesaana thought for a moment, folding her arms under her breasts.

"Our society has to deal with violent elements just like any other. Those with significant psychiatric problems can be repaired, though sometimes counseling is more effective."

A pause.

"Those with a history of doing violent crimes are bound against ever harming another individual. Though, this is usually done with ter'angreal

[agirllost]

"I still don't think it's right to...change people that way," she looks up. "A what?"

[teach-them-all.livejournal.com]

A calm gesture as she paced slowly, a lecturing tone in her voice.

"A ter'angreal. It is one of three types of devices that utilize the One Power. A ter'angreal is the term for any device that is meant to do one specific thing, they are as wide and varied as the One Power itself."

A pause as her tone continued to wax pedantic.

"Now, an angreal is a very specific device. It is an amplifier. By drawing the One Power through an angreal, you could draw far more of the One Power than you could otherwise do so safely."

A small quirked smile.

"Rarer still is the sa'angreal. It is like an angreal with a far greater capacity. Using it not only could you use an amount of Saidar that would normally burn you to a cinder, but that would burn any Channeler to a cinder as well. You could match the greatest of Channelers with a Sa'angreal."

[agirllost]

She nods slightly, "How do you...control how much of Saidar you...channel?"

[teach-them-all.livejournal.com]

A golden glow formed around Mesaana as a small amount of Saidar flowed into her.

"It is simply a matter of drawing more. Though you must constantly be aware of your potential. If you draw more than your potential then you run the risk of burning the ability to Channel out of you, or burning yourself to a cinder."

More Saidar flowed into Mesaana so she seemed to be brimming with the One Power. She was only at a fraction of her full power but the Suppression made it seem that way.

[agirllost]

Kim's not sure she'll ever get used to the glow, and as Mesaana seems to take in more and more, she begins to get a little nervous for her teacher.

"Lady Selae...don't hurt yourself trying to show me."

[teach-them-all.livejournal.com]

An amused smile, as her icy blue eyes watch Kim. Her crystalline voice is calm and comforting.

"Do not worry, Lady Kim. I know my limits."

These were not them.

[agirllost]

She nods, a little hesitant, but deciding to believe her.

"Do you have any suggestions on how to concentrate more?"

[teach-them-all.livejournal.com]

Mesaana took a deep breath and furrowed her brow.

"Not in particularly, practice is all that it takes. To become truly skilled, you will need to be able to touch the Source under any conditions, lest it leave you when you need it most."

A pause.

"I can work with you, though. Sometimes having another person there can be helpful."

[agirllost]

"Any conditions? Even when you're afraid or..."

[teach-them-all.livejournal.com]

Mesaana nodded calmly.

"I know someone who was able to open a Gateway, a very difficult thing, mind you. While dying of poison. It was... most impressive. He survived actually."

She could not believe that Asmodean survived that.

[agirllost]

"Was he one of your students?"

[teach-them-all.livejournal.com]

Mesaana shook her head. Icy blue eyes watching her carefully.

"No, he was a colleague of mine."

[agirllost]

"Where did you work, or where do you work?"

[teach-them-all.livejournal.com]

Mesaana nodded, before answering calmly.

"I taught at the Collam Daan, a very prestigious institution for a time. Now, I do private tutoring at a school in my hometown of Mar Ruois."

[agirllost]

"I want to be a teacher when I go back home, do you usually teach...channeling?"

[teach-them-all.livejournal.com]

Mesaana shakes her head. A calm gesture with one of her hands.

"Often not. My field is in experimental techniques in extra-dimensional spaces. Channeling is just a part of who you are, and you serve others with those abilities as the need arises."