Post Funeral
Sep. 17th, 2006 11:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
agirllostA few days after the funeral and it's still raining.
At the funeral she'd almost forgotten to mourn, more concerned with being strong for her family than her own sorrow. Michelle almost broke her composure and she'd seen her Dad leave and not come back. It took all her willpower not to follow him, but she knew that even now, there was only so much he'd let her see.
Angie's lying down for her nap and on the way back to the living room, Kim passes their bedroom door. By not talking, she and Chase are just putting off the inevitable. There's a distance she feels when he's comforting her, as if he's just doing what he thinks she wants. But it's more than that.
She and Chase still haven't really talked about what happened and she finds it hard to believe that Tony's really gone.
Tony. Once a lover, then a friend. He's the one she could tell anything to, her Dad's best friend, almost family and on some level they understood each other more than anyone would suspect. They both knew what it was like to be a victim, to be powerless, and she realizes with a sudden sick jolt that her Dad and Chase and Chris and Angie -- they know that sensation too, know what it's like to be trapped and helpless and view events beyond your control.
'Like when they watched Tony - oh god - '
Chase didn't say anything, he acted like nothing had happened, but she would never forget seeing him lying there near death or the smells and sounds of that cave. But more than that, she can't keep being strong and pretending that Tony's death hasn't hurt her deeply. She has to tell Chase, has to tell him that she loved Tony at one point, that he was always in her thoughts, that life was so damn unfair, but that he had nothing to worry about, that she loved Tony not as a lover but as family.
Although it's the last conversation she wants to have, she knows that until she tells Chase how she felt about Tony at one time, she's not really being honest.
Taking a breath, she knocks on the bedroom door.
At the funeral she'd almost forgotten to mourn, more concerned with being strong for her family than her own sorrow. Michelle almost broke her composure and she'd seen her Dad leave and not come back. It took all her willpower not to follow him, but she knew that even now, there was only so much he'd let her see.
Angie's lying down for her nap and on the way back to the living room, Kim passes their bedroom door. By not talking, she and Chase are just putting off the inevitable. There's a distance she feels when he's comforting her, as if he's just doing what he thinks she wants. But it's more than that.
She and Chase still haven't really talked about what happened and she finds it hard to believe that Tony's really gone.
Tony. Once a lover, then a friend. He's the one she could tell anything to, her Dad's best friend, almost family and on some level they understood each other more than anyone would suspect. They both knew what it was like to be a victim, to be powerless, and she realizes with a sudden sick jolt that her Dad and Chase and Chris and Angie -- they know that sensation too, know what it's like to be trapped and helpless and view events beyond your control.
'Like when they watched Tony - oh god - '
Chase didn't say anything, he acted like nothing had happened, but she would never forget seeing him lying there near death or the smells and sounds of that cave. But more than that, she can't keep being strong and pretending that Tony's death hasn't hurt her deeply. She has to tell Chase, has to tell him that she loved Tony at one point, that he was always in her thoughts, that life was so damn unfair, but that he had nothing to worry about, that she loved Tony not as a lover but as family.
Although it's the last conversation she wants to have, she knows that until she tells Chase how she felt about Tony at one time, she's not really being honest.
Taking a breath, she knocks on the bedroom door.
