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It's a good connection. She feels the source and smiles, knowing no pain, only joy.
She had no idea it could feel this way and for a moment just luxuriates in the sensation.
She's so wrapped up in her work that she doesn't notice the door open.
(no subject)
Dec. 23rd, 2005 02:00 am[ooc: After this:Ba'alzamon spreads love and peace - warnings for disturbing content and violence.]
Kim opens her eyes, half-expecting to see Nita leaning over her, lips red with blood. But she's back in the room. She can hear the shower running and the urge to scrub her skin off is very strong. Chase is singing, "Jeremiah was a Bullfrog..."
She sits up and covers her face with her hands. Nita in love with her. Nita attacking her like that...it all felt so real but she knows it was just a dream. It has to be a dream, thsoe things are...beyond the realm of possibliity. Oddly, she felt sorry, guilty, toward the end. As she lifts her head, she's aware of a burning sensation on her neck, and she touches the site, expecting to find a mosquito bite or a scratch. Her fingertips come away spotted with blood.
Her jaw trembles and she gasps in pain as she presses down on the sensitive area.
"No, this isn't possible..." she whispers.
Chase is still in the shower.
Without knocking she opens the door and wipes off the mirror, surprised and horrified to find marks on her neck.
She covers her mouth, pressing her lips together to keep from screaming out, and grabs a small towel. She walks back out to the bedroom, slightly dazed.
'How did this happen? I never left....I left the room? But it was night and it's still day and...'
Pressing the towel against the side of her neck, feeling her pulse racing under her hand, she tries to breathe in and out. Calm. Must stay calm.
This mark she has to hide. If anyone asks it's from Chase and if he asks...she puts more pressure on the bite, swallowing painfully and looking up at the ceiling.
'They're starting again. Oh, God, they're starting again.'
It's been days since Nita told her the news. At first, she was numb and now she's resigned. She's tried to hide the cards but they almost call to her, forcing her to look at them, try to read them, and Bar gave her a book on Tarot. From her very limited knowledge, she can't view the future with any hope.
And you and him were. . . connected, somehow.
Nita has prophetic dreams and heard something happening - something with Asmodean (Jasin) and Elan (Rhalen, Ishamael...). Not names someone throws around and after talking to Shelley and hearing about her experiences, Kim's even more wary.
That's funny, wary, no, she's scared and trying very hard to hide it. The last time she talked to her dad he was in bad shape and she can't burden him or Chase with this knowledge. But she's not good at keeping some things a secret, she's not sure she can sit there and have a normal conversation while thinking how something bad is going to happen, 'something that I can't stop and I'm going to miss you but I can't stop it.'
I heard something happen to you
She holds the cards in her hand, book open next to her, shuffles them and closes her eyes. "What did Nita see?"
She turns over the top card. Justice. Reversed. Nita.
The card represents the critical factor for the issue at hand. Justice, when reversed: Lack of balance, harmony and integrity. The suspension of action until a decision is made. Lawsuits and prosecutions. Unjust decisions and the consequences of those decisions. A turn for the worse in legal matters.
'Nita saw something bad, something unjust, not good.'
She reshuffles the desk slightly and takes a breath.
"Will Asmodean kill me?"
She turns over the top card again and Ramon stares back at her. The Devil.
The card represents the critical factor for the issue at hand. The Devil: Being seduced by the material world and physical pleasures. Lust for and obsession with money and power. Living in fear, domination and bondage. Being caged by an overabundance of luxury. Discretion should be used in personal and business matters.
'Living in fear...I don't want to be afraid, I don't understand this but I know that answer can only mean trouble.'
She pushes the cards to the far side of the bed. Not a good omen. Not good at all.
'I have to get out of here,' she thinks. 'I can't tell anyone and I can't stay.'
She's breaking her promise to Nita by avoiding people but she has no choice.
"Please let me see the door. Please," she whispers, closing her eyes.
[ooc: So, I decided to try an online tarot for this entry and um...yeah I got this conclusion. Tarot answer to 'Will I meet Asmodean' and a "two possible paths" question of Will I meet Asmodean again - Even scarier. All readings in the post are from free tarot reading *eyes site with much eyeing*]
(no subject)
Jun. 8th, 2005 08:41 pm[ooc: Sometime after this]
Kim's in the shower, the water is the hottest she can stand and she can still feel goosebumps on her arms. She has seen a side of herself that she didn't want to face, didn't want to think existed.
If she thought her dad was psychotic, how does she categorize someone willing to alter someone's memories and emotions to 'help' them?
And she had been talking about it so calmly, as if playing with her dad's mind was something without consequences, or another theraputic option.
She feels nauseated remembering how tempting it sounded. If she can make him forget what she said, maybe some of the things that happened, he will be happier. But he wouldn't really be himself either. And if her dad ever found out...
"No!" she says out loud, pushing away the thought of even considering this option.
'But you asked Chase to get his memories altered...' a soft voice whispers in her mind.
"That was different, he wanted to, he offered..." she realizes that she's talking to herself.
"It's a betrayal. No, forget that, it's evil..."
She turns off the water and wraps herself in a towel. Still shivering a little, she wipes off the mirror and looks at her reflection.
'I'm his daughter, I can't be considering something this wrong.'
She knows how fragile memories are and how the only reason she's able to survive is Elaine's gift.
And her dad, he would never forgive her. No, he'd consider her his enemy and with very good reason. Only someone who had no concern for him could even think about altering his memories or whatever else Jasin can do.
She would be doing it to help him, but she could never live with herself and the secret even if it worked. She knows that, but she's so worried about him that she has to put him out of her mind. And there's the issue of Jasin himself, whose motives and actions weren't always on the side of angels.
Her mom told her to remind her dad of who he was if he ever forgot. But there has to be another way and she can't be seriously considering Jasin's offer.
"I can't take back what I said but I'm not going to *erase* it from his moemory." She tells her reflection.
She goes into her bedroom and puts on jeans, a t-shirt and a sweatshirt. She has discovered a coldly logical place inside of her mind. She's not sure if she'll ever be warm again.
She leaves to go down to the bar.
