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(no subject)
May. 24th, 2005 10:54 pmKim's in her room. She may have left for a moment to get something to eat but no one saw her in the bar and too much is still both familiar and not familiar at all.
But she's in her room now.
(no subject)
May. 18th, 2005 08:07 pmShe's sitting downstairs, she knows it's downstairs because there's nowhere else it could be.
A little girl crawls over to her, she looks very familiar and Kim has a flash of memory, remembering holding the little girl in her arms and watching over her at night. She knows it happened but she can't remember how or when.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" She smiles at the little girl, an infant really. The infant looks up at her with big eyes.
"You left me," she hears, which is impossible, but the infant is speaking.
"I don't even know you."
"Of course you do, don't you remember?"
"Where are your parents?"
"Daddy's away and it's all your fault."
"My fault? What did I do?"
"You couldn't stop talking and you told him too much and you destroyed everything." The infant sobs and her tears turn to blood.
"Please, please don't cry. I'm sorry." Kim kneels in front of the girl and tries to comfort her but she's gushing blood
She feels a hand on her shoulder and looks up expecting to see her dad. Instead, it's Tony.
"You're dead," she whispers, remembering the funeral, Michelle...
"No, I'm not."
Kim looks down at the little girl but there's only a pool of red.
Kim opens her eyes and expects to find blood on her hands.
(no subject)
Mar. 12th, 2005 02:32 pm( Nightmare: Eye for an Eye )
Kim's scream wakes her up and she groans as the daylight hits her eyes. But that is forgotten as she runs to the bathroom, barely making it time before the alcohol and the dream conspire to make her lose most of what she ate yesterday.
She leans back against the tub, her head throbbing and feeling ill for reasons that have little to do with the drinking she did the night before.
But oh God does she feel sick.
She'll be like this most of today but will probably still take visitors.
Kim's scream wakes her up and she groans as the daylight hits her eyes. But that is forgotten as she runs to the bathroom, barely making it time before the alcohol and the dream conspire to make her lose most of what she ate yesterday.
She leans back against the tub, her head throbbing and feeling ill for reasons that have little to do with the drinking she did the night before.
But oh God does she feel sick.
She'll be like this most of today but will probably still take visitors.
(no subject)
Mar. 4th, 2005 11:44 pmKim wakes up and it's dark out. She went to bed when it was light. She hears screaming and crashing noises and...is that a growl?
Kim in her room
Feb. 27th, 2005 08:35 pmKim remembers her iPod started working again and puts it on. The music is better than silence, it makes it harder to think.
She is sure that Tony's okay. She keeps telling that to herself even though he hasn't come back. She also tells herself that she's not relieved he left. But that's a lie because she kind of is because she couldn't handle how he felt, the way he felt about himself she couldn't combat and she was sick of playing the blame game with people. Then again, right now, she doesn't want to be an adult. She doesn't want to comfort or maybe she just can't.
She can't believe he'd break his promise so easily.
Of course, 3 Doors Down would be playing. She can't go outside. She should, she knows, go down to the bar, stop sitting, but the thought of facing the outside world is almost paralyzing. The one constant she had in her life - no matter how she felt about her dad she knew he loved her - is gone. Now she feels adrift. She takes off the headphones.
"Do you have a family, Niles?" she asks her fish. "Do you ever miss them?"
She is sure that Tony's okay. She keeps telling that to herself even though he hasn't come back. She also tells herself that she's not relieved he left. But that's a lie because she kind of is because she couldn't handle how he felt, the way he felt about himself she couldn't combat and she was sick of playing the blame game with people. Then again, right now, she doesn't want to be an adult. She doesn't want to comfort or maybe she just can't.
She can't believe he'd break his promise so easily.
Of course, 3 Doors Down would be playing. She can't go outside. She should, she knows, go down to the bar, stop sitting, but the thought of facing the outside world is almost paralyzing. The one constant she had in her life - no matter how she felt about her dad she knew he loved her - is gone. Now she feels adrift. She takes off the headphones.
"Do you have a family, Niles?" she asks her fish. "Do you ever miss them?"
(no subject)
Feb. 26th, 2005 12:49 pmAfter a while Kim realizes she should probably take a shower. So, she slips out of bed and goes into the bathroom.
She goes to the sink and turns on the water, but it runs red...no, blood is on her hands, why are her hands covered in blood?
She looks up into the mirror, the first time in days, but instead of blue eyes she sees green and instead of blonde hair, her hair is now dark.
Terrified, she takes a step back and runs back to the bed. Tony's not moving.
"Tony..." she shakes him and her hands touch something wet -- and he's not breathing...and there's a shadowy figure in the corner of the room.
And she sees the gun. And the look in her dad's eyes. And she screams.
And is now awake.
(no subject)
Feb. 25th, 2005 11:18 pmKim eventually managed to move herself to bed and she lays there, staring up at the ceiling, hoping to wake up, because this has to be a dream, it can't be reality...
She doesn't ever want to leave this bed. It's a good bed. She forced herself to feed Niles, no fair letting the fish starve because of her mistakes, and crawled back into bed.
Maybe when she next opens her eyes, her mom will be there and she'll be 15 again.
She doesn't ever want to leave this bed. It's a good bed. She forced herself to feed Niles, no fair letting the fish starve because of her mistakes, and crawled back into bed.
Maybe when she next opens her eyes, her mom will be there and she'll be 15 again.
(no subject)
Feb. 23rd, 2005 05:28 pmAfter the conversation with her dad she had to get upstairs, had to be alone, had to allow herself to think about Chase, about Angela about the life she's left behind.
Dad's memories aren't hers. She can't even imagine if those memories are possible now and wonders if like in Back to the Future, the memories will fade in his mind. If a picture taken of them at that time would slowly vanish. She can't remember ever feeling this guilty, a secret she can't ever tell him, not after that conversation. And forget about dad, if Chase ever found out...she used to love his smiles but he hasn't smiled in a while and she's barely seen him between physical therapy and searching for a new job and....
Stupidly, she thought her dad would understand, that maybe he saw the change in Chase but no...apparently a year from now and everything is okay. Better than okay.
But she's not a woman who has been married for 20 years. Still, she forgot that she wasn't alone, that she wasn't single, that she couldn't just...do what she wanted.
She takes a breath and lets it out, her hands near her face, she doesn't want to get up.
And she remembers falling in love with Chase...the excitement and the danger and...
Now there's Tony and Tony's so different from Chase and she feels so safe in his arms and electrified at the same time.
If Chase knew it would break his heart, but the memories her dad has she doesn't yet and maybe she jumped into this thing with Tony but she can't...let him go.
She goes to sleep.
( Nightmare )
Kim wakes up alone. She turns over and stares at the pillow, not really wanting to move. Her heart's racing. That felt...way too real.
There's a knock on her door.
