(no subject)

[agirllost]

Kim's looking in the mirror.

She misses having blonde hair. The red hair still isn't familiar. If she turns quickly she sometimes doesn't recognize herself.

The door to the room opens and she hears Chris's voice.

She knows it's time to be alone. Or at least to try to be alone.

Comments

[agirllost]

Kim nods, "I just don't want these memories anymore," she whispers.

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"I know," Chris says softly.

[agirllost]

"What do you do with images you can't stop seeing?"

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"I don't know," Chris says sadly.

"I try to make sense of things that bother me. Rationalize them and break them down into pieces so they don't worry me anymore."

[agirllost]

"What can't you stop seeing?" She looks up at her.

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"I was in the service and there was a friendly fire incident. A boy, about 11 or 12 was shot and he died." Bled to death. She closes her eyes at the memory.

"And there are some things I didn't see happen but I know enough about to imagine."

[agirllost]

"I'm sorry you had to see that...that poor boy."

Kim looks down again as she speaks, "If you could erase that from your memory, would you?"

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

Chris thinks about this for a moment even though there's no other way she can think of to answer the question but the truth.

"No. I almost feel like I had to see that and that someone should remember what happened."

[agirllost]

"A witness," Kim says after a moment. "But the things I can't...I'm not even sure if they ever really happened."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"I know. Your situation is a more complex," Chris says with a frown.

[agirllost]

"I just...I want to go back and undo whatever I did."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"Why do you think you did something?"

[agirllost]

"Because of some dreams."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"What happened in the dreams?"

[agirllost]

"I -- I can't quite remember but they're trying to tell me something...I just don't know what it is."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"It might become clearer in time," Chris says hopefully.

[agirllost]

"I don't know if I'll ever understand what happened. But...it's not fair to make you or anyone really stay with me. I'm not...I can take care of myself."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"Spending time with you isn't a problem, Kim," Chris says with a nod.

"But if you feel ready, I understand. If you ever need to talk or anything, I'm down the hall."

[agirllost]

Kim walks over and hugs her, "Thank you," she whispers. "I don't know what I would have..."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

Chris hugs her back.

"You're welcome, Kim."

[agirllost]

Kim lets go.

"You must miss your bed."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

Chris laughs lightly.

"Yeah, I do. Although, I was getting used to the chair."

[agirllost]

Kim glances over at the chair. She has a flash of memory of sitting in a similiar chair and waiting for her dad to wake up and she feels both nauseated and sad.

"Beds are more comfortable."

[geeky-agent.livejournal.com]

"They are." And thinking about this has made Chris realize how tired she is.

"I think I'm going to go to my room and get some rest. I'll stop by tomorrow."

[agirllost]

Kim nods. "I hope you sleep well."