(no subject)

[agirllost]

"Shhh...everything's gonna be okay, sweetie," a woman's voice whispered.

"Mom?"

She smelled hay and felt her mom's lap under her head. A hand was stroking her hair, calming her.

"What-where..."

"He has us but your dad, he's going to save us. Do you believe me?"

She looked up into her mom's earnest eyes.

"I want to..."

The door opened and it wasn't Eli who walked in and grabbed her arm, pulling her up - it was Ramon.

"I can hurt you whenever I want," he whispered against her ear. His fingers dug into her skin.

She shook with not fear, she was surprised to find, but rage. "Touch me again and I'll kill you."

He laughed and pushed her against the wall, pinning her wrists with one hand and the weight of his body made it hard to move. "Don't make me hurt her," he touched her cheek to turn her head.

Her mom was gone, in her place was Angela.

Kim felt resignation like a drug in her veins. "I won't fight you," she whispered, looking up at him as he moved his hand down her chest...

She wakes up with a start, still able to smell the room and his cologne, and she doesn't want to think of what that dream might mean.

'If you could keep everyone safe - would you do it?'

She brings her knees up to her chest and sits like that for a while.

Comments

[agirllost]

"I don't know...I told myself that the things that happened elsewhere were because I was outnumbered and had a concussion and...but it was just him and I couldn't stop him."

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"Were you suprised by him, when he hurt you? It is no shame to be surprised by an enemy you did not know was there. But you know he's here now, you can prepare yourself."

[agirllost]

She shakes her head, "I knew he was here...I had time when he was sitting across from me, when he was just talking...I -- I wasn't surprised."

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"So...you froze once, but you don't have to do that again, Kim. You need to prepare yourself, and you can't stay up here forever."

[agirllost]

"I'm not staying in my room because I'm afraid."

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"Then why are you staying up here?"

[agirllost]

"I don't know," she looks down. It's the truth.

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

It might be the truth, but it's not a satisfactory answer.

"What do you think would make you come downstairs again?"

[agirllost]

"I just...everyone's going to be watching out for me, protecting me and I don't...I don't want to have to be guarded."

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"They would do that anyway, Kim. This situation with the animal puts everyone in danger, not only you--and that is in no way your fault."

[agirllost]

"Yes it is. If I hadn't gone to that...other place, I wouldn't have been afraid of him, not...not that afraid of him and he wouldn't have hurt me because I couldn't tell him why and..." she takes a breath, "They...they think I need protecting."

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"I won't argue about the other place, but you must realise that was not your fault, either. Things happened and you could not control them. And everyone needs protection, at some time...do you think you need protection, Kim?"

[agirllost]

"It..." she looks down at her hands, "took me a long time to convince everyone that I could handle myself...I think they'd started thinking I could again but now..."

"I'm not a child, Elaine. I'm not defenseless but I didn't fight back and I didn't even try and I can't...I can't stop..."

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"You can't stop what?" Elaine asks gently. "Can't stop him? Can't stop feeling the way you do? And you can stop him, Kim, from hurting you and the people you love. You can, you just have to find the way."

[agirllost]

She looks up, "I've thought of a way," but there's something a little wild in her eyes.

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"What sort of way?" Elaine asks, concerned at the look in her friend's eye.

[agirllost]

"Have to think about it more, will tell you later...when it's closer to plot time"

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

Elaine nods. She's not sure this is a good or bad thing, but it's something more than self-blame.

"All right. It's a start, I suppose." She looks at Kim. "Alanna's probably going to be giving me another lesson in swordplay next week...would you like to come and watch how dreadfully I get trounced?"

[agirllost]

She nods, "If you don't mind...I think I would like to see the lesson."

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

Elaine grins. "Good. I think you'd be interested. Going to Los Angeles didn't do very much for my sword arm, unfortunately, so I've had to play 'catch-up'. I'll let you know when it is."

[agirllost]

"Okay, thank you Elaine."

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"You are welcome. I hope you come downstairs soon." Elaine sighs a little, she's still worried. "I should go. Do you need me to bring you anything?"

[agirllost]

She shakes her head, "No, I...I'll be down in a few days. Promise."

[maid-of-astolat.livejournal.com]

"Good. I'll look for you, then. Take care, Kim." Elaine smiles briefly at her, but makes no motion to touch her before heading towards the door.