Another OOM

[agirllost]

After talking to Nita, she's less on the edge...but that she could have mistaken...for her mom... She hadn't realized how much she missed her. It's like a pain that is there for so long, it's easy to take it for granted, hard to remember a time when she could see her more than just in her memories.

She looks in the mirror and brushes her wet hair. She's trying to put what happened in the past. But that knife...it was tempting...is tempting.

"No," she says, her voice just above a whisper. "I won't do it."

There's a knock on the door.

Comments

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

Jack had been hoping to see Kim in the bar, hoping that she'd come down at least, if not be all right. But he hasn't seen her, and he doesn't think it's just because they happened to miss eachother. But after all the times she's accused him of being overprotective, he hadn't been sure whether he should wait and see a little longer, or if he should go to her. Finally, he can't take it any more.

He heads down the hall to her room and knocks on the door, worried about what state Kim might be in when--if--she opens the door.

"Kim, are you in there? Can we talk?"

[agirllost]

She puts down the brush and steadies herself for a moment. Her eyes are still red-rimmed and she looks too pale, but, at least she's not crying.

She walks into the other room and hides the notebook, putting it under her pillow and she makes sure her shirt's covering her bruises before opening the door.

"Dad," she says flatly.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"Hey, sweetheart. How are you? I haven't seen you downstairs lately," he says gently, trying to smile.

[agirllost]

She bites her lip and looks down, "You can stop pretending, I know that Nita must have told you."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He blinks, his hands and feet turning cold with dread. If there was something that Nita might have told him about there must be a problem; a big one. "Told me what?" Though now he knows that there's something Nita might have told him, he is definitely going to have to have a talk with her.

[agirllost]

'He doesn't know.'

"It doesn't matter," she murmurs, more to the floor than him. He has his own problems, he doesn't need hers.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He reaches out, putting a hand on her arm, crouching a bit to try and make eye contact with her. "No, Kim...if there's something Nita should have told me--some problem you're having--it does matter. It matters a lot to me. Please, sweetheart, what is it?"

He clenches his jaw together for a moment, trying not to let her see the tension on his face. "I talked to Chase. Is this about what happened with him?"

[agirllost]

She glances away, her eyes tearing again. "Why do you want to know? You can't help me, knowing will only make things worse."

At his next words, she turns toward him. "It was an accident," she feels the need to defend her fiancee, even if she's not sure herself.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"Sweetheart, I want to know because I'm your father. If something's wrong I want to find a way to help or at least be here for you, even if there isn't anything I can do. Sweetheart, please," he says, putting his hand on her cheek, "please just tell me what's bothering you."

[agirllost]

"You and Chase are always good at offering to be there for me after the worst part is over," she whispers, folding her arms over her chest.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"What do you mean?" he asks, softly. "Sweetheart how can we be there for you when you won't tell us during the worst part?"

[agirllost]

"I just wanted you to be there for me...but you weren't...you never are. You rescue me, you protect me, but," she swallows and shakes her head a little.

"After mom's death, I was afraid to be alone, but I couldn't be with you...what's happening right now, I just...you don't want to be involved."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

His stomach does a sharp dip as she mentions the time after Teri's death, the cold feeling spreading up his arms.

"Sweetheart, I..." He's not sure what to say; he sure can't deny it. "Sweetheart...I know I wasn't there for you then," he says, finally, his voice cracking slightly. "But please, let me be here for you now. I want to be involved."

[agirllost]

"I'm afraid to sleep," she whispers, not looking at him. "I -- I told you about the fears I had and you refused to believe me."

Her voice picks up a little power, "I told you I was in danger, but you're busy with your own problems, so now...I'm handling this."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"Honey, I'm never too busy for you. I just didn't want--" He cuts himself off, knowing how lame explanations will sound at the moment.

"Sweetheart...it doesn't look like you're handling it," he says, softly.

[agirllost]

"Elan can't be stopped by a gun," she moistens her lips slightly, shivering at the mention of his name.

"I'm...handling it," she looks up at him. "You'll be gone from my life at home in less than a month so I shouldn't get used to relying on you, anyway."

Her stomach turns as she realizes what she just said.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He swallows, though there's a lump in his throat and his stomach is in knots.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he says in a hoarse whisper, "But I'm not gone from your life here."

[agirllost]

"If I stay here, I'm going to die...and no one can stop it." She blinks and tears slip down her face.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"No, baby, please..." he says, though he's not sure what he can do.

"You don't have to do this alone," he adds, finally.

[agirllost]

"I'm...not alone," she tightens her arms against her chest. "You just can't help me."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"How are you not alone? You won't let Chase or I help..."

[agirllost]

"I have other people to rely on...other people I can trust."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

For a moment it feels as though his heart has skipped a beat, and it takes him a moment to figure out whether that was in a literal or a figurative sense. It's the latter, but that doens't help much.

I don't trust you. She might as well have said it as directly as that, as that's what he hears.

He drops his hand from her cheek, feeling cold all over.

"Fine," he says softly, almost in a whisper, "Fine." He wants to say something, but he can't think of anything at the moment; his brain has gone blank.

Instead, he takes a couple steps backwards before turning and walking dazedly down the hall to his room.

[agirllost]

It's impossible to miss the way he says the word, almost unlike himself, an emotion in his voice she's rarely heard.

"Dad," she breathes, her mind catching up to what she's saying.

But she's already pushed him away, she saw the way his masks were going up and when he turns around she lifts her hand to her cheek, then covers her mouth.

Where her mind is going, he can't follow.