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Jan. 9th, 2006 07:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
agirllost'I am the bud, I am the flower, be the flower, feel the sun on your petals, feel yourself opening up to the Source...' she thinks as she sits crosslegged on her bed. At the moment though, she feels more like a weed than a rose.
Other things keep interrupting her practice - thoughts about her family she can't push out of her mind, worries about the future, and most of all this sensation that she's standing at the edge of a cliff and about to jump off. But she feels, for the first time in weeks, that something will catch her if she takes that first step.
Selae was a patient teacher and she answered Kim's questions without making her feel like an idiot for asking them. Some of what her teacher said was too familiar for comfort, but she listened intently, and tried to follow along.
'I am the bud. I open up to the world, I surrender to the Source...' she thinks again, trying to clear her mind.
'I've frightened them all, I've hurt them, and I don't know how I'm going to make things right again'
She almost had Saidar and it slips away, pushing her back to the beginning of trying to clear her mind.
Other things keep interrupting her practice - thoughts about her family she can't push out of her mind, worries about the future, and most of all this sensation that she's standing at the edge of a cliff and about to jump off. But she feels, for the first time in weeks, that something will catch her if she takes that first step.
Selae was a patient teacher and she answered Kim's questions without making her feel like an idiot for asking them. Some of what her teacher said was too familiar for comfort, but she listened intently, and tried to follow along.
'I am the bud. I open up to the world, I surrender to the Source...' she thinks again, trying to clear her mind.
'I've frightened them all, I've hurt them, and I don't know how I'm going to make things right again'
She almost had Saidar and it slips away, pushing her back to the beginning of trying to clear her mind.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2006-01-11 04:24 am (UTC)"I can't imagine losing someone you love like that."
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Date: 2006-01-11 04:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-11 04:35 am (UTC)And Angie would do anything she could to protect her family. If there was anything a scrawny teenager could do.
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Date: 2006-01-11 04:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-11 04:41 am (UTC)She doesn't believe her mother would ever hurt her.
"I was just afraid for you and I wanted to help. I hadn't seen you or Dad for days."
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Date: 2006-01-11 04:43 am (UTC)At the mention of Chase she's still for a moment, "You haven't?"
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Date: 2006-01-11 04:45 am (UTC)And she's worried still. She doesn't want them to be fighting.
"Did something happen with you and Dad?" she asks nervously.
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Date: 2006-01-11 04:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-11 05:01 am (UTC)She'll take it, for now. "I really should be getting to bed. I've not been sleeping well the past few nights."
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Date: 2006-01-11 05:03 am (UTC)She nods, "Will you be okay tonight?"
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Date: 2006-01-11 05:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-11 05:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-11 11:05 am (UTC)Despite thinking she's independent, she really doesn't want to be alone. The dreams might come back.
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Date: 2006-01-11 12:38 pm (UTC)"I'd like that too," she touches her shoulder. "I've missed you."
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Date: 2006-01-11 02:25 pm (UTC)"I've missed you too." Angela feels so relieved that things are all right between them.
They'll have enough to deal with in the future without strain between them now. And Angela would very much like to be just a kid for a little while.
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Date: 2006-01-11 05:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-11 11:56 pm (UTC)Not that she isn't still worried. But she'll remember what her mother said when the time comes.
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Date: 2006-01-12 03:46 am (UTC)"Do you need to go back to your room?"
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Date: 2006-01-12 03:49 am (UTC)Angie leaves the room, coming back about five minutes later with her backpack.
She still doesn't have much in the way of clothing, and she sleeps in a very oversized T-shirt.
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Date: 2006-01-12 03:53 am (UTC)She gives Angie a small smile when she returns.
"I think I'll stay up a while and read..."
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Date: 2006-01-12 04:08 am (UTC)She goes into the bathroom, washes off all of her makeup (no small task) and changes into a large T-shirt.
Kim might be concerned about how skinny she is, but really, it's just the way she's built, tall and thin.
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Date: 2006-01-12 04:21 am (UTC)"Sleep well, Angie."
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Date: 2006-01-12 04:23 am (UTC)It's not long before she's asleep.
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Date: 2006-01-12 04:29 am (UTC)After reading for a few more moments, and making sure Angie's asleep, she goes back to practicing, letting Angie's breathing act as a calming force.
She won't sleep. She can't. She needs to keep Angie safe.