AU Post Season Five

[agirllost]

About two years ago, Jack and Kim Bauer entered Milliways and were changed forever.

Karen and I thought it would be fun (horribly breaky) to see what would happen if they discovered the bar post 24 day 5 canon. More specifically, post day 6 prequel.

Hope you enjoy reading.

POST DAY FIVE

Kim found herself in this place a few days ago. She was confused at first and still a little wary, but she's good at wasting time and that seems to be the only thing to do around here.

A sentient bar, the universe ending outside, it was all a little too hard to believe and yet she'd never been disagnosed as delusional.

She comes downstairs, ruffling her short blonde hair. After that day at CTU, she hadn't wanted long hair anymore, remembering seeing her reflection in the glass while so many people died and --

She twists the ring on her left hand. After finding out about Chris's betrayal and death and Miriam had withdrawn and she'd almost gone to her uncle and grandfather but she knew what her dad felt about them. Instead, she clung onto Barry tighter and when she asked if her dad was okay, he'd lie to her. She knew they were lies because when Barry wasn't looking she'd done research and kept dreaming about those last moments over and over.

But, all of that felt far away here, and though she'd swore herself to Barry, she still misses someone else.

She sits near the window and watches the universe expand and contrast, thinking about how disaster is always on the other side.

[OOC: Warnings for angst, references to violence, and woe.]

Comments

[agirllost]

He's taken the decision away from her, but she's not convinced. "Can you reach all of them?" She nudges the kit closer to him. "Maybe you should take two or three of the pills first."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," he says, picking up the bottle of painkillers--extra strength. "I should be able to reach them."

[agirllost]

She takes a breath, she can't help him, and maybe she never could. "I forgot that you don't really need anyone," she says and focuses her attention on the kit.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He's pushing himself to the edge of the chair, trying to stand as she speaks, and for once he hopes that she only sees the flash of pain on his face as simply physical.

Getting to his feet, he picks up the first aid kit.

"I learned to do without," he says, flatly, as though he was talking about giving up ice cream or smoking, trying to push the hurt and guilt away before it can swamp him.

[agirllost]

The coldness of his tone hurts her.

She looks up, a little startled by his reaction. "Dad, I - " she whispers, unable to keep from tearing as she imagines the last few years of his life. "I'll be here, whether you need me or not."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

Hearing the hurt in her voice only makes him feel worse, but if he stops to talk about it now he has a feeling he's never going to get his wounds dressed.

"I'll be back in a minute," he says, not looking at her as he shuffles over to the bathroom.

[agirllost]

"Okay." She nods and watches him walk, reminded of how he was after his heart attack, only he's even weaker now. After the door closes she rubs her eyes and tries to get her emotions back under control.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

Closing the bathroom door, Jack leans on the counter for a minute, letting his head hang, his eyes shut. It's not the pain in his back or his knee that's he's bracing himself against at the moment. Somehow, he and Kim always knew how to hurt eachother; then again he's not sure he should have expected any different, after hurting her so badly by making her believe he was dead. Even if it was to save her life.

Taking a deep breath, he tries to push his emotions aside; he'd had to learn how to ignore them--even more so than when he'd been at CTU--to just not feel anything, because they would just make him all the more likely to break.

Carefully pulling off his shirt and pants, he sets to slathering ointment on the freshest cuts and burns, covering them with self-adhesive gauze pads. None of the cuts are terribly deep; they went for areas that caused more pain than bloodshed, but some of the burns are blistered, a couple of which have popped, oozing fluid, and he grits his teeth as he covers them in ointment and bandages them.

He turns, twisting his head to look at his back in the mirror, unprepared for what he sees. There's extensive scarring there; a few old ones, but many more new. Only now does it hit him that no matter where he goes or what happens to him, what he sees in the mirror will be there forever. Even if he manages to get out--something he never lets himself think about but if this is place is real there's maybe a possibility that he can at least stay here--the scars will be with him forever, and every time he looks in the mirror he won't be able to avoid thinking about it.

Turning his head away, he stares at the opposite wall, trying to stay calm, trying to focus on the task at hand. He can't keep his hands from shaking as he tears open a new gauze pad, though.

There are only two wounds he can't reach: electrical burns that haven't blistered, so he leaves them, pulling his clothes back on. Walking back into the bedroom, he's finding it harder to keep himself upright, exhausted by everything that's happened as well as the chronic sleep deprivation they'd inflicted on him. Not meeting Kim's eyes, he takes a seat again, placing the first aid kit by his chair.

[agirllost]

Her dad is a master at hiding how he feels, but even after being away from him for so long she sees his slumped shoulders and the way he's leaning against the back of the chair. She'd listened for signs of trouble, but even if she'd heard something, she probably wouldn't have entered the bathroom. He made it clear that he didn't want help.

She's grateful he was in the bathroom for a while, because it took her more than a few minutes to keep from sobbing and if she'd looked at his scars, there was no way she could hide her reaction.

"If you want to lie down...I'll sit in the chair," she says after a moment.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He shakes his head; he doesn't want to take her bed. "How did you get a room?"

[agirllost]

"When I came here, someone asked the bar for a room key and it just...appeared," her eyes narrow a little. "You're in no shape to go down there."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"I'm not kicking you out of your bed," he says, glancing up at her.

[agirllost]

"I just woke up a few hours ago. I'm not going to sleep for a while." She's tempted to tell him this isn't up for debate. Telling him he looks exhausted would only be pointing out the obvious. "You need it more than I do."

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He's too tired to argue, particularly when he's not used to putting up much resistance besides stoic silence.

"Okay," he says, rubbing his eyes with his left hand before slowly pushing himself out of the chair.

[agirllost]

After an awkward moment of silence, she stands, and folds her arms against her chest. She gives him more room than necessary, almost positive that if she wasn't his daughter, he would have asked her to leave a while ago. As it is, she keeps her distance, trying to hide her wariness.

"It's a good bed, better than you'd find at most hotels," she says, taking another step back.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"It's a bed," he says, making it to his feet and shuffling across the floor. Hell, even the most lumpy, ratty, battered bed would feel like heaven after sleeping on a concrete floor for so long.

[agirllost]

She watches him as he inches toward the bed and wants to hold onto his arm and help him but has no idea how to offer. Instead, she pulls down the sheets and cover and steps away from the bed again.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

"You don't have to tuck me in," he says. To say this is embarassing is a vast understatement. Part of him hates himself for pushing her away when he finally has her back, but there's too much between them for them to just be like they once were, and he's too overwhelmed at the moment to try and start sorting it out at the moment.

[agirllost]

"I wasn't going to," she says, blushing slightly and looking away from him. It's been a long time since she's felt this awkward, but until he's lying down she can't leave.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He kind of wishes she'd go instead of standing there and watching him, but it'll only delay his getting some sleep and quiet.

Climbing into bed, he turns on his side as it's the least painful position. It feels so good to be sleeping on a mattress, with a pillow beneath his head, for a moment he doesn't care if this is a setup or a hallucination.

[agirllost]

It takes her two tries to get a deep enough breath. He's lying down and as comfortable as he could be at the moment; he's making it clear that he wants to be alone. And she doesn't want to add to his guilt by starting to cry.

"I'll see you later," her voice is a little strained but she manages to leave the room before having to hold her hand over her mouth.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He nods, closing his eyes so he doesn't have to see her expression and pulling the blankets around him. It only takes a couple minutes for him to drift off into a deep, restful sleep; the first he's had in a long time.

[agirllost]

A while later, Kim comes upstairs after spending a number of hours in the bar. She had a few awkward conversations but she was preoccupied to say the least and right now she just wanted to close her eyes. She kept watching the stairs and the wall, waiting for someone to come after her dad or for him to try and sneak away. Neither happened, but worrying is exhausting.

She pauses at the door, not sure if she hopes he's awake or asleep. She's too tired to talk but she wants to make sure that he is only sleeping. Part of her wishes that he'd comfort and protect her, which she knows is not only unlikely but impossible. That version of her dad exists only in her memories and she's still not sure that she wants to let him back into her life. Or maybe it's more true that he won't let her into his, and she can't blame him for pushing her away.

Instead of knocking, she opens the door and finds that her dad's breathing evenly and still fast asleep. She sits in a chair by the bed, it's not an ideal sleeping position but she'll deal with it for a few hours. Leaning on one hand, she watches him for a few moments, sleepy but unable to stop her thoughts.

"I need you to know that I don't blame you. I - I've been angry with you for a long time, but I understand. I'm not going to tell you what I've been through and I know you won't tell me. I just...I never wanted you to get hurt and I was protecting myself because losing you once was...it was really hard and I wanted to hate you for lying to me, I really wished that I could. I only saw the danger you put me in, not the danger that surrounds you and I - if you'd only told me, I would have missed you, but I would have...I wouldn't have mourned you," she whispers, barely above a breath, talking more for herself than for him. "You could have trusted me. But if this is what you ran from...I can't blame you. I can't."

She rubs her eyes and brings her knees up to her chest, hugging them close.

[action-antihero.livejournal.com]

He's used to waking up with a start at the slightest noise, at a kick or someone grabbing him by the arms, or shining a light on him. To be yanked out of sleep abruptly, dragged out of his refuge, as he rarely got to sleep long enough for nightmares to begin.

This time, though, he's gently pulled awake by a soft sound nearby, floating between asleep and awake for a few minutes before he's finally aware of some of his surroundings. For a moment he thinks he has to be dreaming, wrapped in warm blankets, aching body cushioned by a soft mattress. But then he hears movement only a couple feet away and tenses, eyes blinking open, peering through the darkness around him, trying to remember where he is.

[agirllost]

The moonlight's shining in just enough to allow Kim to see his eyes open. "Dad, it's okay, you're safe," she says, knowing that when she woke up after a traumatic event it was what she needed to hear.