Sharing news with Moiraine

[agirllost]

[Millitimed to a few weeks ago]

Behrooz is in her head. She's in his. She wanted to believe it was a side-effect, a delusion, but it's real and happening and she can see no way to sever the link. She would laugh if she wasn't so afraid of everyone's reaction to this news.

Elan. Oh God. Elan was here and could still be here and so many people to warn, and Kim knows she should tell everyone she can find but there's only one person she needs to talk to right now.

Moiraine.

She knows that her teacher has answers, will be able to...solve something, anything, because she keeps feeling Behrooz in her mind and old injuries that she'd forgotten but that his body still remembered. Her hand drifts up to touch her neck and she forces it back down.

Elan almost killed Behrooz. Her stomach turns thinking about it and it makes her want to rip something to shreds. She's trying to work on impulse control. But Elan's back and Behrooz is tied to her and if anyone knows how to deal with both situations, it's her teacher.

Kim reaches Moiraine's door and knocks, hoping that she's available.

Comments

[agirllost]

A bond. She knows that term, understands the concept of a telepathic bond but it sounds like Moiraine is talking about something a little deeper.

"A warder?" Kim's eyes narrow as she thinks. "Does that mean that Behrooz is...a kind of shield?"

[blue_ajah]

"I would not necessarily call him that, precisely," Moiraine says.

Her tone is very dry.

"Although protection is considered part of it, of course."

[agirllost]

"Part of what? Is this - is it something that goes both ways? Does he know where I am? Does he know when I - " she cuts herself off, remembering Moiraine seeing her in the dream world and what she must have witnessed.

[blue_ajah]

"The bond is a weave of Spirit that links the two of you," the Aes Sedai tells her. "Which, I suspect, you have already realized. It is one of the most intricate weaves known to the Aes Sedai, and for you to have accidentally accomplished it is significant indeed."

"You will be aware of him, and he of you; I myself have found it something like the feel of a knot of emotions in the back of my mind. You will know where he is at all times, or should, and will be able to draw upon his strength for support, and he upon your power for endurance and Healing, among other things."

[agirllost]

She nods, trying to get her mind around this new information. Some distant part of her is pleased at the accomplishment, but she's realizing that this is not a temporary situation.

"You have a warder?" She thinks about the people she's seen around Moiraine, but can't pick one out. "Are there - I mean, is your warder aware of actions or just emotions?" She's trying to ask something but doesn't want to say the words.

[blue_ajah]

The sudden silence very nearly has weight of its own.

"I have, in the past," Moiraine says, finally. "For more than twenty years, as it happens."

A pause, and she tilts her head, studying Kim carefully.

"Actions?"

[agirllost]

Kim can tell she's touched on something that Moiraine's reluctant to share. "Twenty years? That's...a long time."

And she almost blushes. "Actions, like when you're sleeping, or training, or...other activities." She finishes softly.

[blue_ajah]

"It is." Calmly. "We worked well together, I think. It may be that you shall have the opportunity to meet him, as it happens."

The Aes Sedai studies her for a moment, and then inclines her head slightly.

"I see. It is not as though the one bonded is present and looking over your shoulder, Kim, but with time one may learn to discern from context and emotion something of what may be occurring."

A pause.

"What does your friend think of this situation?"

[agirllost]

He's still alive. She wasn't expecting that.

"So then it's removable?" Her voice is hopeful.

"I guess not, but more that I," she forces herself to look up at Moiraine, trying not to hide when things get difficult, even if she's still tempted to do so. "I'm getting married soon." And she almost holds up her hand.

"Behrooz? We only just talked, he doesn't really...know the situation."

But she can sense his frustration and discomfort.

[blue_ajah]

There is yet another pause, in which the Aes Sedai studies her carefully.

"It is meant to be permanent unto death," she says. "However, it is also not a thing that is usually done by accident, although there have been times in the past when such a bonding was made against the other's will."

There is something of cool distaste in her tone as she says this.

"To unweave what is woven is often more complicated a matter than weaving it in the first place. Still, such things are not impossible, should you truly wish it so."

A beat.

"I have something of an interest in Behrooz, as it happens."

[agirllost]

She swallows and nods, knowing that she didn't ask him and he would have never chosen this.

Now, she does look away.

"I'm so sorry that I did this to him, but I couldn't let him die...I - I had to do something. Do you think he'll forgive me?" She can't hide her worry and knows it's not a question that Moiraine answer.

Her eyes narrow slightly, "Interest?"

[blue_ajah]

"It is a question that you would do better to ask of him than of me, I should think."

Her advice is calmly given, a clear contrast to Kim's worry.

"Certainly," she adds. "He is a Wolfbrother, after all."

[agirllost]

"I just thought since you had more experience you might have some idea," she says softly. "Have you only had one warder?"

And she nods again, "I know. He can...sense things."

[blue_ajah]

Something almost unreadable passes over her expression.

"There are different customs for the different Ajahs when it comes to bonding Warders," she explains, after a moment.

"Those of the Green may have more than one Warder at a time, for example; those of the Blue, by tradition, choose one. As the bond is meant to be permanent until death--"

She shrugs, expressively. There is a pause, and then,

"I am something of an exception. The Wheel weaves."

[agirllost]

Kim listens, trying to ignore what she senses from Behrooz and takes in what Moiraine's saying. They've talked about the different Ajahs before, but not this aspect of them.

"More than one? How...does that work? Doesn't that - I mean, wouldn't that lead to some kind of jealousy?"

She looks up at her, "I...think this place proves that if nothing else."

[blue_ajah]

"Not especially," she says dryly. "Although it is a question you might better ask of a Green-- still, since there is no one of the Green in this place, I shall explain what I may."

"The Green Ajah is known for battle; they stand ready to fight. As such, sisters of the Green may have more than one Warder to assist them in strength and defense, as well as in attack."

[agirllost]

"From what I have seen...the Blues do a fair amount of fighting too," she takes this from the times she's heard of Moiraine either in a battle or assisting in some way.

[blue_ajah]

"There is that," she agrees, "but in times past when the world itself was not at war-- to be Blue is to pursue the betterment of the world though attention to causes and the interests of justice."

A pause.

"And, speaking of fighting and battle, and given what I know of your world... I would hear of what happened to Behrooz, Kim, that necessitated such desperate measures."

[agirllost]

Kim thinks that sounds a lot like peace keeping and activism, but she understands justice.

"I know, I've been trying to figure out a way to tell you," she says and presses her lips together as she thinks. "After I do, we have to warn Shelley and other...people."

She's quiet for a few moments. "Behrooz can sense...the Dark."

[blue_ajah]

She does not look especially surprised to hear that, as it happens, but as soon as Kim mentions Shelley's name Moiraine's regard sharpens very abruptly.

She says nothing yet, but listens in silence.

[agirllost]

Kim doesn't look away but her gaze seems more distant.

"He found Elan -- in the woods, sensed him -- and Elan, he forced him to...use a knife and..." she closes her eyes and suppresses a shudder.

[blue_ajah]

In contrast, Moiraine's eyes are blazing with sudden, rigidly controlled fury.

"Elan Morin Tedronai. Ishamael. The Betrayer of Hope."

Her tone is flat and near-deadly.

"Rarely has his name been more fitting."

[agirllost]

"I didn't want to believe it," she breathes. "I thought he was gone. Behrooz said that he's gone now but if he comes back...I should have told security...."

[blue_ajah]

"Why did you not?"

It is not quite sharp.

Not quite.

[agirllost]

Moiraine asks good questions.

"I just found out and...wanted to talk to you first. Until he woke up I had no idea it wasn't -- " She breathes in and out softly. "He's gone now."