agirllost: (intense//_chokeanddie)
[personal profile] agirllost
'I am the bud, I am the flower, be the flower, feel the sun on your petals, feel yourself opening up to the Source...' she thinks as she sits crosslegged on her bed. At the moment though, she feels more like a weed than a rose.

Other things keep interrupting her practice - thoughts about her family she can't push out of her mind, worries about the future, and most of all this sensation that she's standing at the edge of a cliff and about to jump off. But she feels, for the first time in weeks, that something will catch her if she takes that first step.

Selae was a patient teacher and she answered Kim's questions without making her feel like an idiot for asking them. Some of what her teacher said was too familiar for comfort, but she listened intently, and tried to follow along.

'I am the bud. I open up to the world, I surrender to the Source...' she thinks again, trying to clear her mind.

'I've frightened them all, I've hurt them, and I don't know how I'm going to make things right again'

She almost had Saidar and it slips away, pushing her back to the beginning of trying to clear her mind.

Date: 2006-01-10 03:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angela-edmunds.livejournal.com
Angela nods. "It's hard not to hide, sometimes."

She knows what that's like...it's part of the reason she got so angry at Kim for hiding. She sees too much of it in herself.

Date: 2006-01-10 03:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angela-edmunds.livejournal.com
Angela pulls back and looks at her mother. "Really?"

She's only ever heard about how brave he was. Is.

Date: 2006-01-10 04:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angela-edmunds.livejournal.com
"Lots of stuff happened to him."

It's not a question. She's only heard stories, but even the ones she's heard...

Date: 2006-01-10 04:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angela-edmunds.livejournal.com
Angie nods. "Yeah."

Angie goes inside and sits on the bed. Her shoulders are slumped and she looks exhausted.

"Are you...are you okay? You look better."

Date: 2006-01-10 04:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angela-edmunds.livejournal.com
"I just...I was just worried. I'm glad you're better."

Angie chews on her lip. "I'm not going to hide anymore. I'll try not to."

Date: 2006-01-10 04:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angela-edmunds.livejournal.com
"That he did a lot of things for his country, and that he was very brave. Some stuff...is also in my history book. And I did research."

She'd been curious about her grampa, so she'd done research rather than ask.

She figured it was better that way.

Date: 2006-01-10 04:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angela-edmunds.livejournal.com
"Yeah, the stuff about the assassination attempts on President Palmer's life, and the nuclear bomb thing..."

She doesn't know about how Grampa nearly died with the bomb.

"There were some other terrorist attacks during the same time. I took some of the stories I'd heard and connected them together."

Date: 2006-01-10 04:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angela-edmunds.livejournal.com
Angie licks her lips and swallows. Maybe she's more like Mom and Grampa then even they know.

"Yeah?"

Date: 2006-01-10 04:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angela-edmunds.livejournal.com
Angie nods. "It must be awful, to lose someone like that."

Date: 2006-01-10 04:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angela-edmunds.livejournal.com
"No." Angie shakes her head. "I really haven't met that many people here."

Date: 2006-01-10 04:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angela-edmunds.livejournal.com
"She hurt you?"

She really doesn't know about Nina. She's never heard her name before.

Date: 2006-01-10 04:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angela-edmunds.livejournal.com
"That most of it was thwarted by the people at CTU...and they did mention Grampa by name as having been a part of it. Not much else."

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